FUCKED UP!
♥
Saturday, September 27, 2008
11:19 PM
noe wad.. wad's the worst thing is that u got useless siblings who cannot offer a single helping hand in anything and everything... i have nv wished or hoped tt they can help me in anyway.. but when it comes to some chores tt my mum request for help, the order will always come directly to me.
Why me? now the question is that it's not i dun wanan help.. but why? why is the convenient maid tt u use is me? u scold me n said i wld rather watch show than help u.. n u said i had always noe tt those siblings cannot be depended on. WTH.. u mean juz pasting the paper to the wedding card can be so difficult that an 18 yr old or a 22 yr old asshole dunno how to do it? mind u.. i have been slogging like mad the whole week n the only time i am watching video was juz today n unfortunately.. when u walked into the room.
stop saying how wei da are u to manage the hse.. the thing is.. I NOE TT.. u wanan make me guilty ma.. its not i dun appreciate how xin ku is it for a mother like u.. the issue now is.. dun see ur other kids like handicaps or maybe u see them as princesses and princes and i am always the unlucky palace maid.. doing all the shit work all along. i am angry coz u treat them like kids n ur reason of them not being able to help is reeli highly totally flawed.
for these f-up siblings reading (if u ever read).. ask urself.. from young.. who is the one who wakes up fucking early to pei mama to go n deliver newspapers when u guys still enjoy ur slp in ur nice beds huh... sometimes still muz buy breakfast for u all.. then again.. think.. from young.. who is the one who needs to free up all her evenings during the cny season to help mama to bake cookies? yes u r right.. dun need to recall.. this happens every yr .. its me .. even how busy i am with projs, tuitions, blah blah blah.. its still me.. then ask urself again.. when mama dun cook.. who cooks for u all like u guys are handicaps? yes u r right again.. i am still doing it now.. so dun need to think tt hard. ask again.. wad were u all doing when the hse need to be painted? i am so scared that dad being so old still muz climb up n die tt i did most of the ceiling n the higher areas of the walls. i dun haf to name anymore.
but yes.. i admit i am sore bout this n i will carry this sore in my heart FOREVER. it has been like tt since young and it will be like this till i grow old. coz why u guys can escape from all these nicely and i cannot even voice my unhappiness at all even when i am doing so much already.. once i voice tt little bit i get scolded like a dog. i am only a human being.. i have my bu-shuangness.. i need to relax when i reeli need to... stop treating me like superwoman coz i am not.. i am fucking tired n stressed.. i got no time for these nonsense.
plz go n reflect huh.. i feel so f up always covering the shit work from u all.. u noe wad.. u can nv understand how i feel coz u guys are freaking leading good lives. nvm. continue.. i believe there is karma.. not cursing u all but i believe some good will come to me for suffering so much in this family.
sometimes i reeli feel like disowning u all.. F out of my world.
